[Aear Charter]

You say you try not to dwell, but you have regrets... This was more of a statement to prompt Aear into going further if he chose to. He shifted in his chair, but didn't elaborate.

"Of course I do, everyone has regrets, things that they wished they'd done differently. It's more in hindsight I know it was wrong. Like I said at the time we didn't know anything else. I just try not to think about it too much." Aear felt like he was repeating himself but it almost sounded like Roger found it strange for him to have regrets.

I think I understand what you mean...that it became redundant. And it also became a way of life. So what I would like to focus on, then, if you are interested is to retrain your brain to prefer things that feel well as opposed to pain. He suggested.

"I'll give it a go." Aear said honestly, he didn't feel like he could promise any results. Roger was right it had been a way of life for as long as he could remember and he wasn't sure if he could break it.

I can see how you would be hard pressed to trust people. But sometimes, taking risks is a good thing. We need to open ourselves up to others in order to find that one that cares... He hoped he didn't sound too much like a fortune cookie.

"I know... And I'm trying it's just... Difficult." Said Aear, it almost seemed like the only person he'd had any success with was Fee.

Before his assination, was your father around much?!

"He did go away quite a bit but he wasn't away a huge lot. I guess it's more... I was still fitting in back then and I hadn't invested as much as perhaps I should have. It was probably me who was away more. Back then I was always slipping out. I guess I didn't really think I belonged at the time. It's only after I came back from training did I start wanting to spend time with my family."

Tag: @roger

[Deleted]

Roger nodded at Aear. Yes, people often had regrets, but for myraid reasons. Roger wanted to know Aear's. 

Of course I do, everyone has regrets, things that they wished they'd done differently. It's more in hindsight I know it was wrong. Like I said at the time we didn't know anything else I just try not to think about it too much. 

I understand. Thank you... That helped Roger a bit, actually. 

I'll give it a go. Roger was glad. He took his job as "helper" very seriously, so he meant his offer. He hoped Aear WOULD take him on that. Roger made a note to find some materials for Aear. 

Stick around for a few minutes after our session. I will give you some exercises. You work on them before your next session. Mostly, they were just writing skills for now-making lists or journaling things that you enjoyed vs. those that triggered pain. 

I know... And I'm trying it's just... Difficult. Roger nodded again. 

It IS difficult. I know. Please keeping making efforts. If there was one person on the team that you'd like to get to know better, and learn to trust, who would that be? This would help Roger determine a game plan. 

He did go away quite a bit but he wasn't away a huge lot. I guess it's more... I was still fitting in back then and I hadn't invested as much as perhaps I should have. It was probably me who was away more. Back then I was always slipping out. I guess I didn't really think I belonged at the time. It's only after I came back from training did I start wanting to spend time with my family. Roger was a bit confused. 

Is this your birth family you're speaking of?...I understand that you are adopted...is that why you ran away a lot? Roger was betting that Aear took a while to feel accepted. 

Tag:Aear Charter. 

(ooc:this one seems disconnected. Sorry. I blame my ADD)

[Aear Charter]

[quote[Stick around for a few minutes after our session. I will give you some exercises. You work on them before your next session. Mostly, they were just writing skills for now-making lists or journaling things that you enjoyed vs. those that triggered pain.[/quote]

"Work? That wasn't part of the deal?" Complained Aear at the idea of homework. "Actually I never did do school... Maybe some time I should... I get the impression that it's a lot of fun." He said going off on a tangent.

It IS difficult. I know. Please keeping making efforts. If there was one person on the team that you'd like to get to know better, and learn to trust, who would that be? This would help Roger determine a game plan.

"The only person I really get along with or have connected with is Fee-Fee..." Said Aear. It was true but that was mostly she was the only one who seemed to be interested in getting along with him. "She seems to like Korey. Maybe I should try harder with him."

Is this your birth family you're speaking of?...I understand that you are adopted...is that why you ran away a lot? Roger was betting that Aear took a while to feel accepted.

"The closest thing I have to a birth family is the other Tridents... I guess I wasn't really born though was I?" Said Aear he was tempted to just nod but he got the sense that Roger could actually help. "Yeah at the time I didn't really get a sense of belonging."

Tag: @roger

[Deleted]

Work? That wasn't part of the deal?...Actually I never did do school... Maybe some time I should... I get the impression that it's a lot of fun. Roger chuckled. 

I have heard some mixed results. Most people think it's bloody bollocks. I had a good time, though...Particularly in college. If it's something you want to do, I would tell you to go for it...it might not, in the end, be for you, but you won't know if you don't try. He meant this-school was not for everyone, but at least, it could tell you what you DIDN'T like. 

The only person I really get along with or have connected with is Fee-Fee...She seems to like Korey. Maybe I should try harder with him. Roger nodded. THis gave them a starting place. 

Lt. Telion will probably be a tough code to crack; it's interesting that he seemed to connect with Fiona so fast. I notice that they do seem to be close, but it seems rather friendly instead of something to be alert about. The first, and most important, step in gaining someone's trust is to be reliable. Always do what you say you will, show up when you say you will, and just be there. Take extra shifts if Fiona will let you, and WORK. No more of that music lark whilst on the clock. SHOW Koren that you can be mature and level headed when you are in a professional environment. THat will be begin to build the starting blocks...it won't happen over night, but with hard work on your end, it WILL happen. Sometimes it might seem one-sided, but keep at it. If a friendship with Fiona is something that you value, it will in your interest to befriend her friends, ok? Roger would discuss later with Koren HIS steps to help build trust with the cat man. 

The closest thing I have to a birth family is the other Tridents... I guess I wasn't really born though was I?...Yeah at the time I didn't really get a sense of belonging. Roger nodded thoughfully. 

I suppose you weren't....can you tell me about this group, the other Tridents? I don't know if that is information that is secret, but if not, I'd like to hear about it... Roger was piqued. Also, do you mind sharing where your origins are, specifically? Before your...capture, I mean. Roger was thinking that Aear might benefit from some regression therapy. 

tag:Aear Charter

[Aear Charter]

Lt. Telion will probably be a tough code to crack; it's interesting that he seemed to connect with Fiona so fast. I notice that they do seem to be close, but it seems rather friendly instead of something to be alert about. The first, and most important, step in gaining someone's trust is to be reliable. Always do what you say you will, show up when you say you will, and just be there. Take extra shifts if Fiona will let you, and WORK. No more of that music lark whilst on the clock. SHOW Koren that you can be mature and level headed when you are in a professional environment. THat will be begin to build the starting blocks...it won't happen over night, but with hard work on your end, it WILL happen. Sometimes it might seem one-sided, but keep at it. If a friendship with Fiona is something that you value, it will in your interest to befriend her friends, ok?

"I know but does he have to be serious ALL the time? Doesn't he know how to have some fun?" Complained Aear at the idea of the sheer amount of work involved.

I suppose you weren't....can you tell me about this group, the other Tridents? I don't know if that is information that is secret, but if not, I'd like to hear about it... Roger was piqued. Also, do you mind sharing where your origins are, specifically? Before your...capture, I mean.

"To be honest I haven't spent much time with them since the lab. It's not like we're not close, I guess we're all doing our own things. Like siblings after they leave home maybe. Ne-chan's always quiet, she likes machines and running experiments in deep space. It gets her in trouble sometimes when she causes a dimensional quake but that's why she's doing it in deep space. Sakky is... Well..." Aear paused for a moment whilst he thought how best to describe the Dimensional Sucubus. "She's just inappropriate on so many levels. If I had to describe her I guess i'd call her something like... A pansexual viking." He really didn't fancy going into more detail about Sakky, sometimes things were just too inappropriate for words. "Which part of my origins do you want me to talk about? There isn't much about the Trident labs to talk but I can give it ago. Or do you mean after how I came into my family?" Asked Aear, he didn't really want to talk about the labs, what could he say anyway? That he was treated like a tool until they escaped and destroyed everything? There was a lot of times he wanted to talk about the Trident data, but he knew if he spoke to anyone outside the Tridents there was a risk of the data being stolen.

Tag: @roger

[Deleted]

"I know but does he have to be serious ALL the time? Doesn't he know how to have some fun? Roger chuckled. 

I am sure he does, but he also has to overcome his training. In the militaries on Earth, your training is drilled into you so much that it becomes a way of life-even damaging who you are as a person.  So, you see, it is buried deep within. Hopefully, over time, with your help, and the help of Fiona, he can find it. Or not-he could just remain serious. That might be an integral part of who he is. I suspect that he carries a lot of pain that manifests itself as this hard demeanor.


To be honest I haven't spent much time with them since the lab. It's not like we're not close, I guess we're all doing our own things. Like siblings after they leave home maybe. Ne-chan's always quiet, she likes machines and running experiments in deep space. It gets her in trouble sometimes when she causes a dimensional quake but that's why she's doing it in deep space. Sakky is... Well...She's just inappropriate on so many levels. If I had to describe her I guess i'd call her something like... A pansexual viking.[/i] 


Roger raised an eyebrow.  He wasn't going to comment, but he wasn't exactly sure that that was a healthy environment for Aear to exsist in. 

Which part of my origins do you want me to talk about? There isn't much about the Trident labs to talk but I can give it ago. Or do you mean after how I came into my family? Roger nodded. He was REALLY interested in how Aear's seemingly half-human parts came about, but he didn't know how to approach it without being offensive. 


Yes, that would be a good starting point... 

Tag:Aear Charter[/font][/b]

[Aear Charter]

I am sure he does, but he also has to overcome his training. In the militaries on Earth, your training is drilled into you so much that it becomes a way of life-even damaging who you are as a person. So, you see, it is buried deep within. Hopefully, over time, with your help, and the help of Fiona, he can find it. Or not-he could just remain serious. That might be an integral part of who he is. I suspect that he carries a lot of pain that manifests itself as this hard demeanor.

"I've been in the military in some form or another for a long time so I think I know what your getting at. Some of the training has become automatic for me too. My superiors probably don't like the fact that the serious side didn't stick." Aear said with a sly grin.

Yes, that would be a good starting point...

"Well let's see then... The first thing I remember is the growth vats I mentioned earlier. There was no sight or the other senses... It was more just a sense of existance I guess... It's kinda hard to put it into words. After I came out some of the scientists were waiting for me. They dragged me to my feet took some readings and dragged me off to a room where we started the first round of tests. Mostly magical output, there was some PTT tests as well... Once we were done they dragged me to my 'room' till the next round of tests... Eventually they wanted to know about my combat potential so they started doing mock battles... At least that's what they called them... Really they just put a few people in a room and shocked us till we beat the crap out of them..." Aear paused for a bit before he continued.

"Ne-chan and Sakky giving them results they could only have dreamed of, on the other hand I turned out to be too... Realistic for them. I suppassed even the highest level meowtian knights have to offer but as far as they were concerned I was the failed result. Eventually they decided they only needed two weapons after all. I heard Ne-chan arguing with someone outside my room. I couldn't hear what they were saying but when the door opened it was clear what the woman she was arguing with was planning. She was sent there to dispose of me. Ne-chan made sure she never got that far." Aear closed his eyes and swallowed.

"It was then that we... We fought back for the first time... We tortured them before destroying the labs. We ended up taking out the city they hid it in. It was after the fires had died that we were found by one of the royal maids." Aear took a deep breath, talking about it was bringing out more emotion then he would have liked. He wasn't one to cry in front of others, he always had to be strong and support people after all.

Tag: @roger

[Deleted]

I've been in the military in some form or another for a long time so I think I know what your getting at. Some of the training has become automatic for me too. My superiors probably don't like the fact that the serious side didn't stick. Roger chuckled. 

Exactly[/color]..[/b] He nodded a little, and waited for Aear to continue. 

Well let's see then... The first thing I remember is the growth vats I mentioned earlier. There was no sight or the other senses... It was more just a sense of existance I guess... It's kinda hard to put it into words. After I came out some of the scientists were waiting for me. They dragged me to my feet took some readings and dragged me off to a room where we started the first round of tests. Mostly magical output, there was some PTT tests as well... Once we were done they dragged me to my 'room' till the next round of tests... Eventually they wanted to know about my combat potential so they started doing mock battles... At least that's what they called them... Really they just put a few people in a room and shocked us till we beat the crap out of them... 

Roger listened intently, sitting up straighter to give Aear his full attention. THIS was the meaty stuff he was waiting for. The stuff that would reaveal how and why Aear behaved the ways he did. 

That is a terrible time...I am sorry it happened to you. Did you ever connect on any level with the scientists? Can you tell me more about them, actually?[/color][/b] Of course, Roger was treading  shallow water with this line of questions, he knew. But if Aear could talk about it, even one word, the healing could begin. 

Ne-chan and Sakky giving them results they could only have dreamed of, on the other hand I turned out to be too... Realistic for them. I suppassed even the highest level meowtian knights have to offer but as far as they were concerned I was the failed result. Eventually they decided they only needed two weapons after all. I heard Ne-chan arguing with someone outside my room. I couldn't hear what they were saying but when the door opened it was clear what the woman she was arguing with was planning. She was sent there to dispose of me. Ne-chan made sure she never got that far...[/i] Roger was pushing harder now. 

How?? He knew that it could backfire, but he was prepared. He was highly skilled, and even once, he'd had a patient pull a knife on him but he was still able to diffuse. He had a gift, but his was gab, not anything else useful. 

It was then that we... We fought back for the first time... We tortured them before destroying the labs. We ended up taking out the city they hid it in. It was after the fires had died that we were found by one of the royal maids. Roger though carefully about his words before replying. 

I understand. You were fighting back...did you find anything useful in the torture? Cathartic, I mean...was it helpful to you to fight your own demons? Roger hoped so...he reached out, and extended a box of tissue. He never judged people for crying. He spoke once more, his tone lighter. This is a safe place. What happens behind these walls are between ONLY you and me. Never feel like you have to censor yourself. In fact, I prefer you don't...your truest emotions help me to help you. So even if it is intense anger, and you need to throw things, that's OK. Whatever you need, its OK here. 

Tag:Aear Charter.

[Aear Charter]

That is a terrible time...I am sorry it happened to you. Did you ever connect on any level with the scientists? Can you tell me more about them, actually? Of course, Roger was treading shallow water with this line of questions, he knew. But if Aear could talk about it, even one word, the healing could begin.

"What the scientists were like?" Asked Aear with something of a puzzled look. He didn't see the relevance of the question but supposed that Roger knew what he was doing. Aear tried to think back, he'd spent a long time trying to seal those memories away and now he was digging them all up. He let out a small yawn, this had been more tiring then he'd thought. He mused for a moment but he couldn't remember connecting with any of the scientists. With his eidetic memory he usually took such a thing as it didn't happen. "I don't remember paying the people any attention other then what they asked... It was a cycle of room, test, beating..." Aear wasn't entirely convinced that he didn't remember somehow. Maybe he had managed to seal something away, maybe he'd managed to erase something or had even asked Ne-chan to erase it.

How?? He knew that it could backfire, but he was prepared. He was highly skilled, and even once, he'd had a patient pull a knife on him but he was still able to diffuse. He had a gift, but his was gab, not anything else useful.

"Ne-chan took her out before she could get to me." Aear said quietly. At the time he had thought nothing of it, they'd killed some of the labs personal before and this hadn't been all that different. Whilst he hadn't really attached to his father it had taught him this; death wasn't something you just shrugged off, it meant something.

I understand. You were fighting back...did you find anything useful in the torture? Cathartic, I mean...was it helpful to you to fight your own demons? Roger hoped so...he reached out, and extended a box of tissue. He never judged people for crying. He spoke once more, his tone lighter. This is a safe place. What happens behind these walls are between ONLY you and me. Never feel like you have to censor yourself. In fact, I prefer you don't...your truest emotions help me to help you. So even if it is intense anger, and you need to throw things, that's OK. Whatever you need, its OK here.

"I guess it helped with the pain. I don't really like that we did it, in hindsight i'd rather we'd just destroyed the lab... But I guess it helped us a little." He said quietly. He didn't like thinking that hurting people helped him, he didn't like hurting people but that was his purpose afterall, it was what he was designed to do. When Roger offered the box of tissues he shook his head and rubbed his eyes. He hadn't realised that he was close to tears and being offered the tissues was making it worse. He wanted to say he wasn't allowed, that he had to be strong, that he was supposed to be supporting people. But his words came out as much as he allowed his tears to.

Tag: @roger

[Deleted]

What the scientists were like?...I don't remember paying the people any attention other then what they asked... It was a cycle of room, test, beating... 

Roger nodded. Actually, that was to be expected, really. He let Aear ramble on a bit, and made some notes for later sessions. He was intrigued-and glad-to see a new side of the cat man. 

Ne-chan took her out before she could get to me. Roger got the impression that this woman was hugely important to Aear. He inquired. 

Please, tell me more about this Ne-chan. WHo was she to you, besides a fellow "trident?" He didn't know what he answer might be. But he did know that it might help Aear to talk about it. 

He let Aear say what he needed. They were making progess today, and Roger was pleased, but also amazed at Aear. He wasn't expecting to get this far. It was good work. 

I guess it helped with the pain. I don't really like that we did it, in hindsight i'd rather we'd just destroyed the lab... But I guess it helped us a little. Roger nodded. 

May I make an observation? You were built for war. There is nothing wrong with that. It's OK to have impulses that are not necessarily "good." BUT I can see that you are actively making a choice to live above your purpose. That is courage. That is intelligence. That is peace. It's all the things you want. I, for one, am impressed. He let his words hang in the air for a few moments. This might be a good stopping point, unless Aear wanted to continue. He had all day. 

Tag:Aear Charter.

[Aear Charter]

Please, tell me more about this Ne-chan. WHo was she to you, besides a fellow "trident?" He didn't know what he answer might be. But he did know that it might help Aear to talk about it.

"Ne-chan was the prized one if you like, rapid regeneration, indeterminate mana supply, processing that blew me and Sakky out of the water combined. After we left people started calling her The Infinite Engineer. She likes building machines and running experiments. Ne-chan, or Onee-chan means elder sibling, specifically female. I guess I started calling her because she looked out for me in the labs... I guess I felt like the otouto." Explained Aear

May I make an observation? You were built for war. There is nothing wrong with that. It's OK to have impulses that are not necessarily "good." BUT I can see that you are actively making a choice to live above your purpose. That is courage. That is intelligence. That is peace. It's all the things you want. I, for one, am impressed. He let his words hang in the air for a few moments. This might be a good stopping point, unless Aear wanted to continue. He had all day.

"Thanks Doc..." Said Aear quietly blushing a little as he let out a small smile. No one had ever tried to look at it like that before. It made him happy but he wasn't really sure how to respond, he just wasn't really used to being praised. It felt strange but good, it's not like he'd never been praised but almost all the attention he was used to get was because of getting in trouble. He wasn't sure if Roger wanted to continue or not, if he had more questions he'd do his best to answer them, but if not he could find some work to do. Kana wanted a computer put in that desk he'd built her if he couldn't find anything else.

Tag: @roger

[Deleted]

[q]Ne-chan was the prized one if you like, rapid regeneration, indeterminate mana supply, processing that blew me and Sakky out of the water combined. After we left people started calling her The Infinite Engineer. She likes building machines and running experiments. Ne-chan, or Onee-chan means elder sibling, specifically female. I guess I started calling her because she looked out for me in the labs... I guess I felt like the otouto.[/q]

Roger nodded. He understood. 

Could the fact that you also felt a little...behind in your purpose have been a factor in your anger, as well? Roger INTENDED to pique his anger a TINY bit. Anger was the most easily accessible emotion, and, most often, the truest of them...how many things that were on your mind did you spit out when you were angry?! ALL of them. 

He sighed, but let Aear continue. He was a professional, but that didn't preculde him from feeling sympathy for Aear. 

[q]Thanks Doc..." Said Aear quietly blushing a little as he let out a small smile. No one had ever tried to look at it like that before. It made him happy but he wasn't really sure how to respond, he just wasn't really used to being praised. It felt strange but good, it's not like he'd never been praised but almost all the attention he was used to get was because of getting in trouble. He wasn't sure if Roger wanted to continue or not, if he had more questions he'd do his best to answer them, but if not he could find some work to do. Kana wanted a computer put in that desk he'd built her if he couldn't find anything else.[/q] 

Roger nodded. He was glad he could give Aear a second look at himself. How slightly enlighted, if not still lesser, beings could see him. 

You are welcome. This might be a good place to end our session for today; it's been about an hour. I am pleased with your progress today. Thank you for allowing me to help you. Will you return for another session? Roger hoped so. 

Tag:Aear Charter.

(So yeah. One more posty, then we're done!)

[Aear Charter]

Could the fact that you also felt a little...behind in your purpose have been a factor in your anger, as well?

"Towards the scientists? I guess a little... I think it's more they always let you know your failings..." Said Aear, it was something that he'd kept with him, that he was flawed when he was supposed to be perfect. He'd let it out in anger or frustration once or twice, it always stayed in the back of his mind.

You are welcome. This might be a good place to end our session for today; it's been about an hour. I am pleased with your progress today. Thank you for allowing me to help you. Will you return for another session? Roger hoped so.

"Ok Doc. I don't try to hide my past, what's done is done. Sure I can give you some more work to do sometime." Said Aear returning to a more normal, or at least normal for him, demeanour.

Tag: @roger