[Makes-Eternal-Everlasting]

PLEASE PAY NO ATTENTJON TO THIS THREAD IT IS FOR HUMOR USE ONLY

I am skilled at three things, baseball, confusiung gangers, and not being seen.

Right now in typing this from an unseen location I am doing one task

I also confused a gang member because I told him I was not there, he believed me..... Then he got himself screwed over and got away from the cops scot free!

And lastly I am getting my baseball team together.

Now This:

Train A leaves the station at 9 PM traveling at 40MPH
Train B leaves the station at 10 PM traveling at 60MPH
What size shoe does the conductor wear ?

I now return everyone to their normal daily doldrums. If you do not have any daily doldrums, daily doldrums will be provided.

[Aear Charter]

He was wearing size 8... Don't what that means outside of the UK but I saw his shoe!

[Deleted]

Baseball season is quite over, sadly. I play softball, though...I like to watch baseball (any sport with eleven gus in tight pants is OK with me :D) 

As for the conductor...who assumes he is male, I would say he wears aman's size. Female conductor wouldn't wear shoes, but heels. 

[Makes-Eternal-Everlasting]

AND NOW FOR THE NEWS!!!

Three shriners were killed a whoopie cushion explosion

Welcome Wagon runs over newcomer

Twenty one people killed in twenty one gun salute

A man who worked at a tool & die factory died today when hit with a tool

And thanks to the Freedom of Information act we know now a bit more of history!!

President Trumans glasses could not come off, they were fixed in place forever when a german soldier got him in a headlock.

One day to prove a point, President Ford ate a baby!

And on a sad note in hollywood Silent Film Star Mark Dunbar died today, he had no last words but he did make several gestures

Here is a human interest story involving mans best friend, it seems that Mr Walter Grimble went to sleep in his Downtown hotelroom last week when he was woken by the sound of a dogs barking, when he woke he could not see because of the smoke so the dog lead him out of the room down the hall to an elevator shaft where he fell eight stories to his death. It turns out that it was not his dog.

[Deleted]

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted. 

[Aear Charter]

Aear jumps in through the window. Who wants fortune cookies!

[Makes-Eternal-Everlasting]

Some fortune cookies:

You are under grave suspiction, your partner suspects to you of deshonesty

A hubcap from a speeding car will lodge itself up your nose

[Makes-Eternal-Everlasting]

Recently it came to lighyt that since the events of Sept 11 2001, there are now more anti terrorist devices now on airplanes. As quoted in the following preflight safety lecture:

"In the case of a cabin emergency a full size regulation legal Louiville Slugger will fall from the ceiling. Remember to take it in both hands, keep beating the terrorist until the {READCTED} is unconsious!!"

[Makes-Eternal-Everlasting]

Some more random silliness!!

IN THE NEWS

The Ministry of Silly Walks has closed its doors this week because of hot foot troubles, it turns out they needed to cool their heels.

New York City Police busted a drug group this morning running a Meth Lab, six of the druggies were caught on the spot, the rest got away by swimming to Omaha Beach in Normandy France.

Some Random Facts that do not mean anything

Ohio is a funny state, its high in the middle, and round on the edges..... this is a riddle apparently with the answer staring everyone in the face!

There is an offical game in Rio called Kidnapping and Waxing, with the Summer Olympics being held there in 2016, they should add that to the games list......

And now this.....

Before you critise a man, walk a mile in his shoes. Once you've gone a mile, you cannot critisise the man, but you have his shoes. Bear in mind however that this is a good way to catch a fungus.

[Makes-Eternal-Everlasting]

Signs you are drinking too much coffee:
You get a speeding ticket just getting to your car
You can keep your eyes open when you sneeze
You have not blinked since the last lunar eclipse
You walk 40 miles on your treadmill before realising the power's been out for most of the day
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil

More to come! Soon™